The six-second kiss by Dr. John Gottman is claimed to boost appreciation for one another between couples and lower the “stress hormone” cortisol. In the murky world of relationships and dating, one of the key conduits for showing your partner how much you love them is through physical affection.
But relationships, of course, are not without their problems, which is why it can be so comforting to have so many different experts offering advice that could save your ailing relationship—in this case, healthy habits.
What is the Six-Second Kiss?
Dr. John Gottman, who has previously spoken extensively about the six-second kiss on podcasts like The Diary of a CEO with Steven Bartlett, came up with the phrase itself. The premise is actually in the name: you kiss your partner for six entire seconds.
According to the expert’s official website, the kissing technique has been claimed to have a range of different impacts that include adding to your emotional bank account, calming yourself down, creating a deeper connection with your partner, and even boosting your own kissing skills.
Danger, though, as you should not do this to people that you aren’t actually in a relationship with. Offering to kiss your first date for six entire seconds may not go down well.
Benefits of the Six-Second Kiss
“The more you practice an elongated kiss, it can also become a habit. A six-second kiss is one of the least time-consuming ways to improve things with your partner. In fact, if you take two kisses a day, the total time a week amounts to less than 90 seconds,” he wrote. “So, keep kissing. It has the capability to improve the overall health of your relationship.”
Kissing your partner for six seconds may seem like a small gesture, but it can have significant positive impacts on your relationship. Here are the top 5 surprising benefits:
1. Boosts Emotional Connection
A six-second kiss helps deepen the emotional bond between partners, creating a stronger sense of connection and intimacy.
2. Reduces Stress
Engaging in a prolonged kiss can lower cortisol levels, the stress hormone, helping both partners feel more relaxed and at ease.
3. Enhances Communication
Kissing is a form of non-verbal communication that can express feelings and emotions more effectively than words.
4. Improves relationship satisfaction
Regularly practicing the six-second kiss can lead to higher levels of satisfaction and happiness in the relationship.
5. Promotes overall well-being
This simple act can contribute to better physical and mental health, reinforcing the importance of maintaining close, affectionate contact with your partner.
Expert Opinions on the Technique
Barbie Adler’s Insights
Is the strategy worth a try? To get a better idea of how the six-second kiss could impact the state of your own relationship, we turned to elite matchmaker, Barbie Adler, who you may remember earlier gave us some first-date red flags.
“It’s more a gentle reminder to give these acts of intimacy the time, attention, and patience that they deserve. Slowing down and being more deliberate while kissing is a simple yet profoundly effective way of increasing intimacy and overall relationship satisfaction,” she said to us.
Stress Reduction and Oxytocin
First, Barbie said that engaging in the six-second kiss could lower your stress levels due to the well-known “love” hormone called oxytocin. “Especially during those busy days where you feel like you don’t have a spare second to yourself, taking the time to share a kiss can allow you both to reflect on what matters most in life: your relationship,” she said.
Communicative Power of Kissing
Barbie went on to tell us that kissing is actually a means of communication, which means the six-second kiss is a great way to “express more than words ever could.” “Many people are already in the good routine of saying ‘I love you’ to their partner every day, and a long kiss is a way to say it in the most direct way possible,” she added.
Simplicity and Accessibility of the Six-Second Kiss
And finally, and perhaps the most important thing to note, is the fact that kissing is totally free and not a huge time commitment. Barbie says: “Whether you share one in the morning before you rush out to work, right after you get home from work, or both, the simple act of doing so gives you a chance to take part of your day, even if it’s only for a few minutes, and give your complete attention to one another.
Making this a habit every day keeps you in close touch without even trying while giving you something special to look forward to every day. “The pure simplicity of it–the fact that you don’t have to have anything except each other, that you don’t have to go anywhere or buy anything–is part of what makes it such a strong and enduring habit.”
