Setting relationship objectives allows you to commit to something jointly while also demonstrating that you care about the relationship and each other. When you write down a list of goals together, you show each other that your relationship is important and has a future. Setting goals will encourage you to work together to improve and sustain the relationship.
Goals might be organized by physical, psychological, and spiritual components, or by self, relationship, work, and family categories. It is up to you. However, whether your goals are setting aside time for deeper intimacy or retiring by the time you are both 40, working together toward a similar destiny strengthens your bond.
Suggestions for Relationship Objectives
There are many different objectives that might strengthen a couple’s bond. The following are some objectives that you and your companion could try:
1. Stay connected: Decide how frequently you would like to communicate with your partner. For instance, making the decision to speak on the phone at least once every day.
2. Take advantage of love languages: Find out your and your partner’s love languages! You can use these to improve your communication with one another, especially if you commit to utilizing their “love language” a certain number of times per week. Take this free quiz to discover your love language!
3. Always make up after a quarrel! To achieve this goal, you and your spouse may want to consider writing a contract in which you commit to being forgiving of one another. You can be more explicit, such as by promising not to go to bed upset with each other.
4. Spice up your sex life: commit to trying a new position or exploring a new dream once per week. Simply determine how many times you want to have sex each week.
5. Allow more time for tenderness and intimacy: This may be physical or emotional. You could decide to hug a specific number of times per day or ask each other deep questions over dinner every night.
6. Decide to ignore minor infractions: Make a commitment to letting go of minor issues. It may be beneficial to write this on a post-it note and stick it to your bathroom mirror or kitchen fridge as a quick reminder when you walk by.
7. Schedule time for enjoyment together: This will vary depending on what the partners enjoy doing together. Maybe it’s playing video games together on weekends or trying a different restaurant every month.
Tips on Setting Relationship Goals
When setting relationship goals, the greatest ones are those that you design and support jointly. Making sure your goals are explicit, quantifiable, and attainable will help with this. You can make a calendar to efficiently include specific activities in your daily routine. This will also allow you to track your progress and determine when you’ve achieved your objectives.
Sherry Amatenstein, a New York City therapist, journalist, author of three relationship books, and host of the podcast SHERAPY: Real Therapy with Sherry Amatenstein, shares some advice. She explains, “It’s crucial for both of you to agree on the target you’re setting. What one sees as an impediment, the other may see as a reality of life.
When defining goals, remember to listen to the other person and maintain a flexible perspective throughout the process. Amatenstein believes it is critical to have empathy for their issues, even if you do not share them. She emphasizes the necessity of setting small, attainable, and focused goals. “One step at a time versus leaping into the sky,” she said.
Steps for Creating Relationship Goals
Making goals doesn’t have to be complicated. Here is a basic set of steps to follow when creating goals with your partner:
1. Brainstorm separately: Take the time to consider your goals separately before sharing them with your partner. Consider what you want to get out of this practice and what goals will help you attain it.
2. Get together to discuss your ideas: After you’ve brainstormed your personal goals, you may start sharing them with your partner. You may discover that your spouse suggested something you had never considered that you would like to work on, or you may come up with fresh ideas together.
3. Determine which goals you wish to focus on: Decide on your goals together. It may be beneficial to begin with simply three short-term and three long-term relationship objectives.
4. Set realistic deadlines: You do not need to set unrealistic deadlines because changing your lifestyle takes time and trial and error. Remember that illnesses and setbacks occur; therefore, it may be beneficial to anticipate them or expect the deadline to change.
5. Check in regularly: Evaluate where you are in the process of achieving your goals to determine your progress. This can also be used to spend quality time with your companion, such as over a great dinner or a picturesque walk.
How to make your goals a reality.
It might be difficult to stay dedicated to relationship goals when there are so many ups and downs. However, there are ways to overcome challenges and remain on track.
When you initially start setting relationship goals, it can be difficult to agree on them. Everyone has a different vision of the future, which might lead to disagreements. To fight this, be willing to compromise. If one of you wants to have sex five times a week and the other prefers three, it may be advantageous to agree on four evenings of intimate sex per week.
Obstacles will also arise that may interfere with the regular activities you pledged to take to achieve your partnership goals. If anything happens that makes it difficult or impossible to attain your goals, the most important thing is to be open and honest with your partner. Hopefully, your spouse will understand, and you can find a method to adjust the aim so that it is more attainable for both of you.
One study looked at the effect of spousal contributions on goal pursuit in older couples and found that when people have more relationship satisfaction and support, as well as less conflict, they make more progress toward their objectives.
Benefits of Setting Goals Together
Setting objectives together might help you and your spouse bond. Making a commitment to a goal jointly entails making a commitment to one another. Goal planning will help you create healthy relationship habits and learn how to rely on one another to fulfill tasks.
One study found that spouse support helps you make progress toward your goals. The study also found that setting and achieving objectives has physical, psychological, and relational benefits for both you and your partner.
Overall, no matter where you are in your relationship, creating goals is beneficial. Working toward shared partnership objectives and achieving progress on them will undoubtedly improve the quality of your relationship and bring you and your partner closer together.